I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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