Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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