woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
