This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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