Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
