Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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