Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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