She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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