shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
