I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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