I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
