Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
