Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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