I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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