He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
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