Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
