and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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