Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
