I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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