she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
