yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize