Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize