I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
