i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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