her vagine was all disorganized.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
