I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
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That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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