my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
