after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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