she was so not down for the gang bang
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
