He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Randomize
