i can't believe i had my finger in that
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize