He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
