Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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