an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
