Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
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