something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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