This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
