i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
