We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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