They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize