My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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