Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
