CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
