She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize