i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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