I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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