i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
