he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
