I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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