you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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