last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
