My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
