He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
