he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
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But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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