Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
