Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize