Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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