Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
