you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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