I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
