he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
