Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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