My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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