in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
