I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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