Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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