Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
