just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
