You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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