she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
thus making me awesome and them whores
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
