Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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