So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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