Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
