3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
